Swimmers are known for eating mounds of food, but sometimes, especially during a meet, some swimmers will change how and what they eat. The following describes the three types of eaters at a swim meet.
The Ironclad Stomach
We all have at least one teammate that seems to be able to down just about anything before a race. As they step onto the block, those who watched them inhale two giant meatball subs worry about the safety of the swimmer, the pool, and whoever is swimming next to them. Yet somehow they are able to finish without throwing up and seem to always beat their times. These swimmers can be spotted with extra large swim bags, no doubt equipped with extra pockets big enough to hold as much groceries as the average Publix shopping cart. In fact, you’ve probably thought this person worked at Publix since you always seem to run into them while grocery shopping. It turns out they just live there.
The only thing more organic than the food they eat is pure carbon; the only thing containing less gluten than their snacks is water: and there is nothing more hipster than the names of their food. The health-nut often walks onto the pool deck armed with a massive Whole Foods freezer bag loaded with anything from kale plucked from their own farm to an artisanal who knows what. These swimmers are role models for the moms who wish their kids would eat better. Its no surprise that the health-nuts are almost always fast, as their superior diet provides them with the perfect amount of nutrients. Be careful when offering them food unless you are sure it doesn’t contain gluten, or you may be roasted about your “incompetence.”
The Gandhi swimmer is known for fasting during swim meets. While others would perish from the lack of food during a meet, the Gandhi swimmer thrives. By only drinking during a meet, this swimmer truly becomes one with the water. It is not known whether this behavior is the result of nervousness, an overall distaste for food, or some obscure swim-based religion. Occasionally the Gandhi swimmer can be observed consuming light foods such as fruit or a protein bar, but this can be as rare as someone enjoying the 200-yard fly event. By fasting, the Gandhi swimmer becomes – you guessed it – fast. This allows them to jump extra far off the block, a sight that some liken to the glide of a flying squirrel.
Written by Jesse Hagy